What Hurts the Most
by Scrunchy
Summary: Mamori finally quit the team, how does Hiruma feel about it? First try at the HiruMamo pairing! Rated for Hiruma's dirty mouth. I reposted the first of it, for some reason the Disclaimer wans such wasn't showing up SongFic


**Another HiruMamo fic!**

**Disclaimer: Riichiro Inagaki and Yusuke Murata created and own everything that is Eyeshield 21. Rascal Flatts owns the song 'What Hurts the Most'.**

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_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house..._  
_That don't bother me..._

Hiruma sat in the empty club house after practice, the rain pounded hard on the roof and windows. His fingers paused over the keys of his laptop and he looked up at the corner where the broom and mop were set when she got too distracted at yelling at him to put them up again. He simply 'hn'ed and went back to his typing.

_I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while..._

Something hit his arm and he paused again, looking down at the water. "Fucking leaking ceiling." He looked up, but there wasn't a leak. One hand raised to his face and brushed drops of water from his cheek. He stared at them as if they were foreign, from another planet.

_Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me..._

"Well, at least hes not sad about her leaving." Sazuna remarked to one of her fellow cheerleaders as they watched Hiruma chase the Football team around with a sub-machine gun in hand, looking like he was going to snap and blow up the world any second.

"Yeah," she agreed. He seems to be acting normal." They returned to their own practice, not knowing that Hiruma had a recording device taped to the bottom of the bench they were at that he would check later.

_What hurts the most  
Was being so close..._

Hiruma stared down at Mamori with his face void of emotion at what she had just said.

"I-I..." Mamori trailed off, looking down. "S-say something." She ordered, her bangs reaching to curtain her eyes.

"That's... nice to know?" Hiruma raised a brow, he had little to no idea how to respond to her saying that she loved him. And the concept of _why_ was even further from his scope. He was reaching out to hold her when she suddenly looked up at him with fierce eyes.

"You're such a jerk!" She had yelled and stumbled back from him, wiping her eyes and turning to walk out.

_Now_ it came to him... "Fucking manager!" He had yelled with a smirk at what he was going to say- that he would actually finally tell her- just as she reached the door. She whirled and crossed her arms, not even looking up at him.

_And having so much to say..._

'I love you too... finally, you say it... c'mere,' and hugging her, kissing her, loving her...

The words caught in his throat, he never expected to be the cause of this kind of pain to her.

_And watching you walk away..._

He wasn't able to do anything as he watched her turn away with a hurt look at his silence

_And never knowing  
What could have been..._

What could have come from him and her? Love, acceptance, kids? Hiruma frowned slightly at the last one but leaned back in his chair in the dark club, rain pounding more furiously than before. But if it was for her...

_And not seeing that lovin' you..._  
_Is what I was trying to do..._

Hiruma kicked the two basketball 'volunteers' in their rears and yelled at them to get running with the rest of the team. They had been fawning over the unaware Mamori, wondering things that made Hiruma want to beat the hell out of them. Or stick a shirt on her that said _Hiruma Yoichis manager, fuck the hell off!_

"Hiruma-kun! You could have just asked them to!" Mamori snarled at him, in a bad mood already from earlier in practice.

"Che, whatever, fucking manager." Hiruma scoffed and ran after them with a pump-action shotgun.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go..._  
_But I'm doin' it._

Young couples walked _everywhere_ in the shopping center. Hiruma looked around with a small frown and memories of the one he wanted to walk around aimlessly with bounced around in his head. He walked into the sports shop, grabbed the gear he was supposed to pick up, walked out again and took a different route back to the club.

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone..._

"Hey, Deimon!" Takami waved at the practicing Deimon players as they passed Ojo- both teams were on a training run. He scanned the group and blinked. "Where's your manager today?" Their own was riding next to them on a bicycle.

"..." the team looked to Hiruma who smirked with a shrug.

"She got tired of my crap and quit." He replied.

"Oh, Im sorry... have a good training!" Takami ran to catch up with his group from the slow backwards jog he'd had while chatting. Deimon's team looked at Hiruma who shot at them and told them to get their 'asses in gear and run like hell.'

_Still Harder:  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret...__  
But I know if I could do it over...__  
I would trade- give away- all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken..._

Hiruma remembered the last week and a half since she'd quit. He'd wanted to stay in bed, for time to stop and rewind, for it all to be a nightmare. For everything to be something that some cruel deity's- that he'd pissed off someway or another- way of biting him in the ass and then they fix it out of pity. _Self-pity_. "Che, this sucks." He muttered and closed the laptop, leaning back and thinking of how he would have liked that encounter to go. Telling her everything she wanted to know, God knew he had his mysteries. Telling her how much he loved her, even the damn pixie could see that- apparently the rest of the team as well. If he could just talk to her again but she wasn't answering his calls and every time he went to her house her mother said that she wasn't there. The rain pounded harder, especially on the door.

_What hurts the most  
Is being so close..._  
_And having so much to say..._  
_And watching you walk away..._

The one time that he had seen her- since her newfound ability to avoid him in the halls, between classes, and when giving Sena his home-made lunch- was just as bad. The fact that he couldn't just walk up to her and yell in her face that he loved her... she looked so happy that he could bring himself to remind her that he existed, that that night had ever happened and that her face could even have that expression... that her auburn hair could have cut her off from him so easily.

_And never knowing  
What could have been..._

Maybe a pair of grandparents retired to a nice house with football and child-care careers behind them but still going with their grandchildren as an aged Mamori bounced a grand-daughter on her knee while an older Hiruma passed a football to his grand-son. "Thats out the door now." Hiruma muttered, there was little chance of the kids idea before, but now that the mother wasn't even in the picture they faded and died.

_And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do..._

"That will be two thousand yen." The hard-ware store owner said with a smile. Mamori looked at the sink part that she was buying for her dad to fix the sink with.

"It's really worth that much?" Mamori asked as she reached for the money in her purse.

"Che, tell her the real price and don't try to rip her off just because she's a chick." Hiruma had said from his place in the door. He was passing by and saw the part while hearing the price, which was ridiculous. "It's just a fucking piece of pipe. Its only worth one thousand." Hiruma frowned pushing away from the wall and looking over Mamori at the piece.

"U-uh y-yeah, I mean to say that... er..." .. the clerk returned half of the money that Mamori had handed him and she accepted it and the part with a frown at him. "Thank you and come again!" He chimed as they left the store.

"Slim chance..." Mamori muttered and looked up at Hiruma sideways. "Thanks." She smiled.

"Whatever... you shouldn't be stupid enough to accept any price they throw at you next time though." Hiruma commented, Mamori just smiled at his form of 'you're welcome' and they walked in silence until her house was in sight.

"Thanks again." Her hand brushed his as he stopped and let her walk on, she turned as if to apologize at the contact but he shrugged, brushing some hair out of her eyes that had fallen from behind her ear. "Hiru...ma?"

"Hn, see you at morning practice." He said just before Mamori's mom called to her to hurry up or the whole neighborhood would flood.

"Y-yeah, later!" She turned back to her house with a small blush and ran inside with the part clutched in her hand.

_What hurts the most  
Is being so close..._

He hadn't seen her but that one time since, but once when he'd called her house she'd picked up- since her home phone didn't have Caller ID- and his chest felt like something had healed. She had hung up as soon as hed said 'damn manager,' though and he cursed himself for not actually saying her name.

_And having so much to say...  
And watching you walk away..._  
And never knowing  
What could have been... 

Or maybe they'd just be that unhappy couple in the shopping center, arguing one last time before he got himself slapped and watched her walk off with a promise to have her stuff out by tomorrow at something selfish he'd said. 'Not all love affairs are happy...' he thought wryly as he yawned and closed his eyes. The rain beat unevenly on the club room door and he looked at it questioningly. With a grumble he stood and walked to the door. Then her heard her.

"Hiruma Yoichi, open this damn door!"

_And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do..._

"A member of the student council cursing?" He atempted his usual sneer, but failed an only got out a sad smile when he slid open the door. "Whatever will they say?"

"H-Hiruma..." she was drenched from head to foot and looked drowned. But Hiruma still thought she looked beautiful. "I'm... I'm..." he realized that the water on her face was still running quickly even though she had stepped inside.

_Not seeing that loving you..._  
_That's what I was trying to do..._

He stepped up to her and enfolded her in his embrace. She was shaking like a leaf and collapsed into his strong frame. "Hey, it's okay." He was slightly surprised that he new how to comfort someone without sounding rude, it had been a while. "Da... Mamori-chan..." he changed his words so quickly he wondered if she knew he was going to say 'damn manager,' he even added an honorific for her.

"Hiruma-kun, I'm so sorry." She sobbed into his chest. Hiruma backed up slightly and sat down, allowing her to sit sideways on his lap.

"I'm not talking to you until you stop crying. I cant understand a fucking word you're saying." Hiruma said, brushing her dripping hair back. Mamori let out a shuddering sigh, hiding her face in his chest before looking up at him, more composed and no longer crying. Her eyes were red and puffy and her nose was running slightly.

"I-I'm sorry." She said, sniffing and wiping her nose. "I... that day... I thought that you were mocking me when you smirked and held out your arms..." she stuttered and looked down slightly, letting her bangs cut herself off from him again. Hiruma frowned at this and tilted her head back up with his fore and middle fingers.

"What the fuck did I tell you, damn manager?" He growled with a frown. Her eyes widened slightly when he leaned closer and their lips met. Those same blue eyes closed and she leaned into the kiss a few seconds later. 'Maybe someday what could have been, will be...' Hiruma thought as he deepened the kiss. She'd always be his manager, nothing was going to change that now. And someday he'd tell her what hurt him the most...


End file.
